I work with organizations that want to LAUGH through difficult cHAnge.
Today I picked up the hard copy of my dissertation. It was cheaper to drive to Penn State than to have them mail it to me. I will post the link to the online version so you won’t have to spend $103 on it like I did. Plus or minus $10,000 for tuition.
Stay tuned…
Humor teaches us that we are unique. We all have a story to tell. About our interests, our experience and our trials. Especially our trials.
Humor isn’t a contest. It doesn’t have to be. No one has your perspective. No one sees the world (and what’s funny) quite the way you do.
Scott the Nametag Guy, in his blog post about self-esteem, agrees with me on the issue of competitiveness. Scott writes, “it’s a beautiful moment when you realize that you’re no longer anxious to prove your value. And the best part is, the less you have to prove, the less other people feel threatened around you. So, the secret to self-esteem isn’t removing competition, but redefining the subject with whom you’re competing.”
That subject is yourself. Humor helps you to accept your own story. And use that story as the basis for your humor. Build on that and your self-esteem will naturally grow.
Research shows that those who are more humorous are perceived as being more confident. They don’t have anything to hide. They have nothing to prove. They know their faults and flaws. And they move on from them. Building an ever-more humorous nature along the way.
Who are you competing with today?
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The past few days have brought some big changes to many people. The Haiti earthquake and especially its aftermath. The shooting of State Trooper Paul Richey. Tonight’s upset of the Democratic machine in Massachusetts. Weather disasters. Political upheaval. Personal trials.
How can humor compete with these overwhelming tumultuous happenings?
Answer: It doesn’t have to. Humor isn’t something that stands apart from the events of our life. It is already there, within those events. That’s why it’s sometimes hard to see. It’s layered beneath sorrow, pain, fear, worry, and distractions.
And that is the best type of humor. Because it’s grown from those bad things. That pain. That frustration, hatred, rage, powerlessness and trials.
We tend to think of humor as out-of-place in times like this. And certain definitions of humor are out-of-place here, now, in times like these. The clowish, unrelated jokes are a slap in the face at times like this.
They don’t communicate anything healing, they don’t help us connect with each other. They don’t help us to make meaning out of our tragedies.
The most effective humor is something that is relevant. Humor that is incubating during times of stress and upheaval.
We just have to be open to recieve it, willing to accept it, and wanting to notice it. This type of humor is what heals us. Helps us process information and emotion. Helps us transform.
What are YOU laughing about today?
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Today I created a wiki. Just type my name Trina Hess. I’m not sure what wiki is or what we’re supposed to do there. So if you have a wiki or want to create one, go to wikipages.com It looks like you have groups to join and learn about things? Does anyone know? Is this thing on?
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Franklin, Pennsylvania. This small Western Pennsylvania town was the site of today’s funeral for fallen trooper Paul Richey.
I stood in front of the Victorian courthouse with some of the other teachers from our district. We held signs of support and waited for the other police officers to drive past on their way from the funeral, held at the local high school.
As the police cars drove past, we read the names of the towns. Most were from PA, some were border police from New York. All were in this together.
You could sense their unity as they beeped their horns in response to our signs.
You could see their common support as they flashed their lights.
You could feel the bond as the out-of-state officers filed past us into the courthouse.
What does all of this have to do with humor?
All the players in tonight’s scene were in one accord. They were sharing a common event–grief.
It is just as possible to create such a shared feeling of unity around humor.
You may not know the person next to you. You may not know the whole story of the event or circumstance. Your hands and fingers may be freezing from the rain.
But you are at one in the goal of creating and participating in your environment. The more involved you are the more powerful the effect.
What kind of environment are YOU creating?
Haiti. School. Work. People. Technology. Time. Money.
Lots of things cause stress. Especially those things we feel we have no control over. John Medina’s Brain Rules website http://www.brainrules.net/stress offers great information on exactly how bad stress can be for us.
For example, stress actually changes the way our brains think. Medina writes, “Your brain is built to deal with stress that lasts about 30 seconds. The brain is not designed for long term stress when you feel like you have no control. The saber-toothed tiger ate you or you ran away but it was all over in less than a minute. If you have a bad boss, the saber-toothed tiger can be at your door for years, and you begin to deregulate.” Stress changes not only our brain functioning, but it erodes our motor skills.
Stress carries. Over into other parts of our lives. So when we feel stress at home, we take that same stress to work. And vice versa.
The good news is that humor can be a powerful link in the stress-busting chain. Ask me how YOU can start today to de-stress and Live Life–Lite! More tips, clean comedy videos and fan feedback on my Facebook Fan Page–why not join us there!
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What if we all spoke the same language? The Sapir-Whorf Theory says that the language you speak will influence the way you see the world: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/worldtour99/sapirwhorf.html
From the book, “Outliers” I read that the stereotype about Asians being good at math is not a stereotype, really. They are good at math because the names they give to their numbers make numbers easy to say, to think about, and to work with. While we say numbers like, “five-hundred-fifty-five,” Asian languages have an easier way to name their numbers, something like 5 adds to 5.
Humboldt wrote that we live in the world around us as language presents that world to us. Both Sapir and Whorf agreed that it is our culture that determines our language, which in turn determines the way that we categorize our thoughts about the world and our experiences in it.
What if we all spoke the language of humor–we would see the world in a different way, our thoughts would reflect our new language, and our actions would follow.
How will YOU see the world today? What language do YOU speak?
Today several bizarre events happened. That’s not wholly unusual when you teach at a high school. We’ve probably all heard about the devastating earthquake (is there any other kind?) in Haiti. Then today one (possibly two) people were shot a few miles from our school. One victim was a family member of one of our co-workers.
Earlier today these people were here. Going shopping. Going to school. Working. Eating. Taking a nap. Feeding their dog. Then next moment, they were no longer on this earth. Just that quickly.
Made me think of an article about how we postpone having fun or doing enjoyable things. It seems that there will be time in the future. We all know there isn’t any more time then than we have now.
This is what’s called the “Yes . . . Damn!” effect, named by professors Gal Zauberman and John G. Lynch Jr., of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Colorado at Boulder, respectively. “This occurs when we agree to a future commitment in the belief that we’ll have more free time later than we do now — and then, when it comes due, discover we still don’t have time for it.” It’s all relative. And it’s all at this link: http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/28/procrastrinating-pleasure/
One expert, Suzanne B. Shu, a behavioral economist at U.C.L.A., says that we actually have strategies to postpone what’s pleasurable. We’ll open that expensive bottle of wine on New Year’s Eve, for example. We’ll take a vacation when we are caught up at work.
Today, realize that you do have time for the things you enjoy. If you make time for them. Today, resolve to do these things:
1. I will do something that scares me
2. I will not schedule time for fun, I will have fun–now
3. I will speak my truth
4. I will recognize human connection
Do those sound a lot like using your sense of humor? They should.
Now–wasn’t that fun?
Here’s an article by my new friend, and guest blogger, Warren Davies. Think you know about happiness? Think again!
“In case you hadn’t heard, there’s a new-ish field within psychology, called positive psychology, which is very relevant to self growth. The premise of the field is that throughout the history of psychology, far too much emphasis has been placed on mental illness and disorder, and getting people from a “minus 5 to a zero.” The aim of positive psychology is to look more deeply into the factors that cause people and groups to thrive - getting people from “zero to plus 5″.
“One of the main areas of interest then, is positive emotions. This is a term I don’t particularly like, because all emotions are ‘positive’ in the sense that they serve an adaptive function - but you know what I’m talking about; the emotions that are, for most people, more pleasant to experience.
“Here are a few findings from this line of research into positive emotions, which you hopefully didn’t know before.
“Positive emotions undo the effects of negative emotions: ‘Negative’ emotions (again a term I don’t like), prepare the body for a certain type of action. To do this, they have specific psychological and physiological effects on the body (such as increased cardiovascular activity). Positive emotions, when elicited after negative ones, serve to rid the individual of this ‘action readiness’, giving them access to a broader repertoire of potential behaviors.
“Positive emotions increase creativity: Positive emotions have been shown in a number of studies to improve creative thinking. It is important to point out the type of creative thinking in question. The studies test divergent thinking; a typical task might be “come up with as many possible uses for a brick as possible”. So positive emotions are useful in the ‘brainstorming’ sense of creativity. Negative emotions have the opposite effect, and negative to neutral states are more effective when critical thinking and attention to detail are required. Bear this in mind when selecting your study playlist - choose music that elicits the most useful mood for the task.
“Positive emotions counter the own-race bias: There is a phenomenon called the ‘own-race bias’ in facial recognition. We find it easier to recognize the faces of people belonging to our own race than we do people belonging to others. This is the technical term for the “they all look the same to me” experience. But studies have shown that people in positive moods are less susceptible to the own-race bias, relative to neutral or negative moods.
“You might have noticed a common theme running through these three points: positive emotions broaden your perceptions/thoughts/behaviors, while negative ones narrow them. The idea is that deep in our evolutionary past, our ancestors faced very specific threats, and our bodies have evolved to attend to these threats in specific ways, to the exclusion of other things in the environment.
“For example, if there’s a dangerous predator nearby, you don’t want to be caught admiring the pretty daisies. So your whole body shifts perceptions and resources to prepare you to run or fight. But when things are going well, when there’s no particular threat, it’s better to broaden your perceptions and the potential thoughts and actions you can take, so that you can expand, build resources and make new allies.
“Hence, positive emotions counter the physiological effects of negative ones, allow more divergent thinking, and help you to processes faces more globally, rather than focusing on particular features, as negative emotions would tend to lead you to do.”
1. They are the best at what they do. Like Darren LaCroix, World Champion of Public Speaking, once told me, when in a contest, make the judges think only about “who will come in second place.” al Quaida is so successful at how they recruit, infiltrate, and multiply, that stopping them is like trying to stop Starbucks. Their numbers alone instill fear in people. Frustrate the governments that are trying to stop them. Baffle individuals who are concerned about their own safety. Are you the champion at your sense of humor?
2. They are always coming up with new ideas, methods, and people. They seem to be open to allowing anyone to join, and open to any new ideas on how to strike terror in the minds of nations and their citizens. Are you constantly on the look-out for new ideas, operations, characters, expressions, and turns of phrase?
3. They promote their membership drives based on shared values. Really strong values. Those values are so strong they inspire people to join, and even give their lives. Are you true to your style of humor and do you know what’s truly funny?
You don’t have to agree with al Quaida’s mission. It would be best for everyone if you probably didn’t. But don’t overlook the lessons that “bad,” “wrong,” or “harmful,” people can show us. If you can be as passionate in your pursuit of the successful use of humor, you have nothing to fear.
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