07.14.10
How to get Bikini-Ready in 4 Easy steps!
- Image via Wikipedia
Is there anything worse than trying to find a swimming suit for the summer? It’s a process of wanting to look like somebody else. Squeezing yourself into something that doesn’t suit you (no pun intended). And feeling generally pessimistic about life itself.
Why is this?
It’s because the very nature of the swimsuit conspires against us. No one can look good in fabrics that are chock full of bionic elastic. May be useful for a ride on the Space Shuttle, but not at the beach. No one swims so fast that their suit will fly away. I’m not a swimmer but I’m pretty sure of that.
We have no problem buying underwear. It’s comfortable–no tight elastic tourniquets. We don’t care if it matches our skin tone. We don’t even care what we look like in it, because we usually don’t wear it in public.
But the swimsuit. That is another situation entirely. It IS public. VERY public, with hundreds of beach-goers ogling your every flaw. You’re conscious of your every hidden insecurity. You just generally feel bad.
So what do we do? We try to be perfect. Fit in with the crowd. Or else hide so no one will see our flashing white legs.
Funny but when we think of being funny, we’re also trying to fit into a too-tight swimsuit. Squeezing ourselves into a Don Rickles when we’re not a sarcastic person. Tugging at the niceness of Ellen Degeneres when you know you’ve got a lot more rage than she does. Backside falling out of a too-small Rita Rudner persona when you are a big-mouth. Or, having remorse at the triangle top that would have fit better on Sam Kinneson.
Here’s the solution:
1. Start with where you are. Not with what you want to or think you should be.
2. Work around your flaws, don’t deny that you have them.
3. See the bigger picture, and how small that swimming suit really is (no pun intended) in the grand scheme of life. Perspective puts us at ease.
