12.05.11
Posted in Humor & change, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Research, Learning Identity, The Change Process, humor & hope, www.HumorAcademy.com at 7:58 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I used to believe the Oprah chant that we are the creators of our selves. We decide what our identity will be. I used to believe that. Until the Penn State scandal.
The news of the scandal, and especially the shock of Joe Paterno’s ousting, were unsettling to this recent Penn State graduate. The entire escapade highlighted just how little control we sometimes may have in deciding who “we” “are”.
The Paterno news was startling, because the coach came to represent Penn State’s identity. Even more than the high quality research history, the other sports and academic programs, the creamery and the animal studies.
But I was never a football fan. The only Penn State gear I bought in my 7 year career there was a pair of blue fleece mittens with the Nittany Lion logo. I didn’t buy football jerseys, or even go to any games. My strategy had always been to get out of town when there was a game, otherwise I would be stuck in the tiny-streeted maze until after half- time.
So why did the news affect me like it did?
I felt, as one person walking on the streets of State College commented, “like I was in a daze.” This is what it feels like to not know your identity. And this is exactly what happens when we’re slapped in the face with CHANGE.
Sure we do and can decide how we will define our identity. But even more so, and even more surprising, is that we also absorb large amounts of other things that define our identity. These are the facets that we must investigate, and later integrate (or not) as we go through a transition situation.
The bad news is that we don’t realize this. We want to overcome the change, get back to normal, and feel happy again. Even more bad news: when we encounter change, our first reaction may be to grasp on to disjointed tips and advice and therefore we don’t successfully complete our change. We end up back in the vortex of feeling like we’re in a daze.
We need a systematic approach to change. A program that will help us to naviagte, incorporate, and enjoy the process of change.
The good news is that we CAN do this—but only by using our innate sense of HUMOR…
Who are you after a change? How funny is THAT?
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10.15.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Research at 4:37 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I just finished reading David Corbin’s book, “Illuminate: Harnessing the positive power of negative thinking.”
I couldn’t help thinking how much this book has to do with using the power of our innate sense of HUMOR.
The gist of the book is that we shouldn’t—and we can’t afford to–ignore the negative things in our lives. Just slapping a happy face on our outlook just deprives us of the strategies necessary to eradicate and solve the neg’s in our life.
This tact is very hard for us to do. Especially since we’ve been schooled in our culture to do just that: to ignore the negative and cover it over with happier thoughts.
But unfortunately, happy thoughts can’t generate happy action if we know we’re just fooling ourselves. If we realize on a deeper level that we aren’t addressing the big picture, we aren’t looking at the whole story.
So how do we get out from under the thumb of positivity so we can become truly positive?
I say we borrow a plan from our humor nature.
1. Allow the big picture. Remember, all good humor starts from a grain of TRUTH. The good news is that once we face our truth, it loses its scary power.
2. Work through, use, tackle, and decimate your negative thoughts. Don’t bypass them, work with them. Think of what’s most frustrating to you. Write it down. Think of a worst case scenario. Blow it completely out of proportion. Let it come to its most bizarre and outrageous end. Then you will laugh.
3. Remember the process and practice it so it becomes automatic. So that every neg in your life can have this comical characteristic. You know eventually it will be hilarious once you’ve taken it to its eventual end in your mind.
Why not start the process today—see how funny YOUR negatives can be!
Are You edgy enough?
As we get ready to celebrate one of my favorite holidays, Halloween, I’m also getting ready to go see Alice Cooper’s Halloween show with Rob Zombie. What’s so funny about that? Something that the following reporter said about Alice. Even though his shows are gruesome, faux-violent, and vile, they are, and he is—funny. How?
Because he keeps certain tenets of great humor intact.
He gives us something new—he was a trailblazer in the world of rock music.
He doesn’t take himself seriously. He gets killed many times at every show, and it doesn’t ruin him.
He creates an atmosphere where people can have fun. He is the ringleader, and as we see him having fun, we are encouraged to, too.
Here’s the article:
West Valley City • Dropping temperatures and dark clouds that moved into the Salt Lake Valley on an ill wind Monday afternoon finally made it feel like October — a month for ghosts, goblins and werewolves.
So what could be more appropriate than a Halloween Hootenanny at Usana Amphitheatre featuring Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie?
A smallish but vocal crowd of about 4,500 were treated to special effects, pyrotechnics, loud and pulsating rock and impressive showmanship by two of the music world’s greatest performers.
Call me old school, but the 62-year-old Cooper was the more enjoyable of the two over-the-top rockers.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominee has been doing this show seemingly forever but apparently hasn’t lost any of his enthusiasm. From the opening seconds of the show when the familiar opening guitar riffs of “School’s Out” brought the crowd to its feet to the encore of “Eighteen,” Cooper showed why he deserves a place among rock’s classic innovators.
After all, this was the guy who all but invented the big rock stage shows that are now standard fare. He had big hair before most of the big hair bands of the ’80s and wore white makeup and black eye shadow long before imitators such as KISS.
Cooper still packs more into an hour and 15 minute performance than anyone. His set included a 20-foot tall one-eyed monster, a guillotine, a hanging, a stripper, a spider suit, a wheelchair, sword play, giant balloons, a roadie being stabbed by a microphone stand, a giant syringe, fake diamonds and cash tossed into the audience and a cage of death.
Oh, and yes, the old warrior can still rock with the best of them. Backed by a crack band, he played classics such as “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” “Only Women Bleed,” “Billion Dollar Baby,” “Poison,” “Vengeance,” “Alice Goes to Hell,” and “Be My Frankenstein” with the enthusiasm of a newcomer trying to make a name for himself.
Simply put, Alice Cooper is a showman and his staging is edgy enough to be interesting but with enough tongue-in-cheek humor that the act is both entertaining and funny.
by Tom Wharton
Read Full Story At The Salt Lake Tribune
I was listening to a talk radio show today and the host mentioned “those comedians”. Particularly the one who is in a spat now with baseballer Sanchez. The radio host disparaged “the comedian” chiefly because he doesn’t offer anything of meaning, his schtick is based on attacking other people, and his funniness works to repel people.
That made me think hard about how I used to say, “anyone can be funny,” “people need to be funny, use their sense of humor.”
Now I wonder: Do they? Really?
I’m quite glad my financial planner isn’t a riot of laughs. You’re probably glad your tax preparer or your loan officer doesn’t have you rolling in the aisles.
If they did, we would take their words, their expertise, and maybe even their reputation less seriously.
Why? Isn’t humor supposed to heal everything, make every interaction more pleasant?
Then I realized, I’m not talking about, or promoting ”being funny.” Getting laughs is a side-effect, and more importantly, it’s ot even necessary.
What IS necessary, and what IS important, is creating that atmosphere of humor: where communication is free, channels or creativity and thought are opened, and stress levels are lightened.
That is something everyone is capable of doing. IF they are in the right mindset, and IF they honor their sense of humor.
It’s not about being funny. Most people have no desire to learn comedy writing. It’s a tough skill to develop, and takes lots of trial and error, re-writing, and failing. Lots of failing. Do we really need more failure?
No. What we need is more humor. Mor creative, open, stress-free environments where people can thrive and progress and invent, think, share, and communicate.
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10.05.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Events, Humor~Research, Learning Identity, The Change Process, www.yourshiningexample.com at 4:42 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Living a humor lifestyle requires that we be in the flow of life. The more we can harness our humor powers, the more fluidly our lives can be.
This month, Dr. Nancy Mramor offers a glimpse of how this flow can add to our happiness quotient. I am glad to be part of her Happiness Project, helping YOU to Have Your Happiest Year Yet! Sign up to receive Dr. Nancy’s FREE monthly e-newsletters chock full of tips toward YOUR happiness. Read my part of the project and catch up on some humor ideas you can start to implement today!
Here’s this month’s article from Dr. Nancy Mramor. Enjoy~
“Happiness research shows that when you are engaged in a creative activity that you get into a state called Flow. People who do things that create flow report greater levels of happiness! During flow, you lose track of time and get so absorbed in the task that nothing takes your attention away. Before you realize it, you have enjoyed passing away a whole afternoon!
“Flow expert Mihaly Csikszentmihay says that Flow occurs when we are doing things for “no particular reason,” such as playing chess, mountain climbing, almost anything that we do to give life value, excitement and a feeling of completeness. In the movie Eat Pray Love, they referred to this as Dolce fan Niente, or in English doing ” sweet nothing.” Mostly, these things are diversions, but certain types of work create the same type of Flow. When working, you can get caught up in what you are doing and lose track of the future and the past, and fall into an “extended present in which you are making meaning,” says Csikszentmihaly.
“He cites research done in 1991, in which Flow was described as full attention on a limited… field, with full concentration, complete involvement, and freedom from extraneous thoughts. “Action and awareness merge and you can’t tell the dancer from the dance.” I think I know what he means; as a writer and a person with diversions of cooking and ballroom dancing, I find that both work and play give me the same experience.
“When you are in a state of flow, you merge with the task. Flow includes an involvement so full that you do not think of yourself as separate from the activity, such that you are not observing, just participating. Think of the movie, Like Water for Chocolate, in which the heroine loses herself so much in her cooking that the diners feel her emotions.
“So why does this make us happy? During times of Flow, you experience freedom from worry of failure, fear of obstacles, and lose self-consciousness and worry. You forget your aching feet and time seems to disappear or become distorted. The experience has its own reward and satisfaction unrelated to praise or money rewards, or even recognition. Both musicians and surgeons report doing what they do just because they love it!
“The rush of getting into Flow is that you are very much in the present. Each step reveals the next and you keep solving as you go along; you have immediate feedback. The best circumstance is when there is a balance of skill and level of the task. As you get better at the task, you need a greater level of difficulty to create Flow. Your body even gets involved in a measurable way that improves health. You may experience deeper breathing, and more relaxed heart rate and blood pressure.”
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10.03.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Events, Humor~Research, www.yourshiningexample.com at 4:40 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I’m excited about getting a book in the mail yesterday. It’s by Jennifer Kahnweiler, Ph.D. and it’s for introverts everywhere—or, as my friend Bill likes to call us, “Ninja Birds.” “The Introverted Leader: Building On Your Quiet Strength.”
Before I even opened the book, I wondered to myself what it could tell us about how introverts can use humor, especially in the workplace.
I wondered:
1. How can these Ninja Birds overcome the stress of adjusting (or even more stressful, of not adjusting) to a daily world and culture seemingly ruled by extroverts? HOW CAN THEY LIGHTEN UP?
2. How can these Ninja Birds get over their anxiety about public speaking, making presentations, and offering input in meetings? HOW CAN THEY GAIN AN OUT-WARD FOCUS?
3. How can these Ninja Birds throw off their insecurities and comparision-making? HOW CAN THEY ACCEPT THEIR IMPERFECTIONS AND EVEN LAUGH ABOUT THEM?
All these questions will be answered, I’m sure, by the time I’ve finished reading the book.
But for now, how would YOU, fellow Ninja Bird, answer those questions? And how would YOU, non-Ninja’s help your co-workers, partners, spouses, children, parents, friends, to lighten up?
Share your ideas here, or message me at info@yourshiningexample.com and I’ll post some of the best ideas on my Facebook Fan Page!
Let’s start thinking about how we can help everyone in our workplace to, “Get Your S.H.I.N.E. Together!” so we can ALL, ”Live Life—Lite!”
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Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Research at 4:03 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Looking over some notes from my hand-out I had for a presentation on women and humor. A great book to read on this subject is Mackoff’s ”What Mona Lisa knew: A woman’s guide to getting ahead in business by lightening up.”
Women have earned the right to be taken seriously! We need to strive for perfection, be aggressive, defend ourselves, and act like a man!! Or do we?…
Perfectionism, you see, puts others on the defensive. They will be waiting and watching for you to slip up. You can’t relax, they can’t relax. You won’t risk trying new ideas, because your image is at stake.
Your sense of humor conveys your authority: your self-composure, your control of the situation, and your eventual climb up the ladder of success. We can respond in a way that is either defensive, aggressive, or mirthful.
Women’s sense of humor differs from men’s style of humor. Women have a sense of humor that reflects shared experiences, is situational, respects personal taboos, and is empathic. Men’s sense of humor is more rational, literal, and aggressive.
Women can use their unique style of humor to highlight the absurdity of a situation and playfully redefine the situation in a non-aggressive manner. This process helps to dissolve discord by avoiding humiliating yourself or others. In this way, you can subdue your attackers by getting into harmony with them. First, mirror the other person’s comment, and then build on it with exaggeration. You are not agreeing with the comment, only reflecting its absurdity.
A workplace that is mirthful will promote an aura of creativity because relationships will improve, making people more relaxed. When people feel relaxed, they are more motivated in these three areas:
Focus: humor reduces learner anxiety, and positive emotions promote listening and retention skills.
Problem-solving: humor releases the tension that keeps us from focusing, and humor promotes the capacity for risk-taking.
Teamwork & Leadership: humor can help you get feedback on others’ personality and working style. Your good humor can be the softest, yet most effective form of persuasion.
How funny were YOU today? What steps can you take to change that tomorrow?
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06.07.10
Posted in Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Research, www.yourshiningexample.com at 6:49 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Happy yet? Here’s a re-post of part of the article that I wrote for Dr. Nancy Mramor’s Happiness Project. The project shares the expertise of over a dozen authors who have contributed joint articles with Nancy to let you know what the latest research says about what makes you happy. Our wish for you is that you have the happiest year of your life by joining in the free subscription to these 12 E-zines at drmramor.com.
Here ya go:
“According to Baylor College of Medicine BioEd Online, humor triggers parts of the brain that help us to “get” the joke. These are the same areas of the brain that control smiling and laughter. When we respond to (or with) humor, our brain releases dopamine, a feel-good chemical in the brain. Research is continuing on how the appreciation of humor can diagnose the early stages of depression.
Humor actually creates transitions in our bodies and our brains. So, how can we use this humor power to help the transitions we encounter in daily life? Well, humor begins with ACCEPTANCE–exactly what we can’t or don’t want to do during a transition. We want to be in control! We want to overcome! We want to be comfortable again. And so we fight against our situation. Or, sometimes worse, we yield to passiveness and then to hopelessness.
Acceptance is the main factor that propelled my career as a humorist speaker to the next level. When I started performing comedy over ten years ago, I was all over the map. I don’t mean I was traveling to clubs and getting paid. I mean I was doing material about rap music, dumb blonde jokes—a little of everything. I even talked about urban material even though I grew up in the country (yes, this country), and never saw a sidewalk or an elevator until I was well into grade school. But I thought I was hilarious!
The only problem was that no one else was laughing. I thought there was something wrong with my audiences until a wise comedy mentor gave me his observation. “They’re not laughing because you’re not believable. There’s no truth there. Just talk about what you know. Talk about your day.”
I was dejected. I protested, “But there’s nothing funny about my life! I don’t even have a real job. I’m just a substitute teacher until the real teacher dies.” And you know what? He laughed. And as I continued to tell him about my uninteresting and not-funny life, he laughed more. I realized that once I could look at the truth, and accept it, I began to relax. I could see that my best humor was what was already happening all around me. I was living it. I didn’t need to listen to rap music! Not even at stop signs in someone else’s car!
The story got even better. I thought, “If I can talk about these “boring” things in my day-to-day life, why not tackle the more painful things?” I decided I would tell my tragic stories and add some exaggeration. So I threw in some tragic, horrific events. And–voila! More laughs. I talked about my need for a nose job because I’d had a tough childhood. “I was the only little girl in the 4th grade that looked like Alice Cooper.” But now I brag that ever since my nose job I look just like Julia Roberts. “Brother Eric.”
When we are able to accept something painful or hurtful, and then direct it through the lens of humor, we transform it. We disable its power over us and our emotions, our stress level, and our actions. In the process we ourselves are transformed. I’ve gotten the biggest laughs from talking about things that for years had broken my heart. And I hope that in the re-telling of these now-humorous tragedies others will say to themselves, “Hey—if she can laugh at the garbage in her life, maybe I can too. Let’s see–how can I transform my trials into humor gold?”
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06.06.10
Posted in Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, Humor~Research, Humor~Social Media, Humor~Technology at 3:14 am by Dr. Trina Hess
Sex sells, but honesty brings repeat customers. I thought about one of these blog posts that goes directly to my Facebook wall. I’ve written lots of stuff about humor research. Things like how the brain calms when we are laughing and appreciating humor. How our mental, physical and emotional health improve when we use our sense of humor. I’ve shared special events that my friends and colleagues are offering. Brilliant things! Outstanding research!
Zero comments.
Until I started talking about my day. And my impressions about events in my day.
Honestly.
It wasn’t pretty. They weren’t pleasant feelings I was sharing. In one blog post, I wrote about getting stitches taken out of my hand. Painful. Brutal.
But people related. Because I told the whole truth–even the bad-hair parts. People reacted because they, too, had experienced similar unpleasantries.
But usually no one transparences themselves to the point of publicly writing it down.
And so everyone suffers in silence. Needlessly. When there are many people who think, feel, react, the same way.
“Humor increases killer T-cells in the body,” gets no comments. While “I ran out of tea,” leads to a geyser of comments trickling down the wall of my Facebook page. Why? No one knows what killer T-cells are, and no one can see them.
Everybody has tea bags. They drink tea regularly. They have strong opinions about tea. Tea is real to them. Even if it’s bad news about (my) tea, people will jump in and commisserate with you!
It’s astounding to watch the honesty of humor at work.
What will you share today that’s honest? Join us on Facebook so everyone can comment on it!
I’ll be the first!
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06.03.10
Posted in Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, Humor~Research, www.yourshiningexample.com at 10:15 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I’ve always wondered why doctors and dentists offices play bland, soft-rock puke-inducing music. I am already in a state of unrest when I arrive, knowing what kinds of procedures these professionals do. It is like telling everyone, “Put on a happy face.” It only works for half the people. The other half will become even more anxious.
I’m not even making this stuff up, the research was done in Julie K. Norem’s fabulous book, “The Positive Power of Negative Thinking.”
I thought of a better way when I got my stitches out one day at the doctor’s office. Why not play Motley Crue, some Jackal or G’n'R? I want to meet the task at hand with music that will match it. I’m already not in a calm mood, so playing calm music will make me panic even more.
Craig Valentine advises a similar strategy for speakers: don’t automatically ask people to jump up out of their seats with, “Are you ready to rumble?”-style cheerleading. Some people are tired. Some people don’t want to be there. Some people will never be cheerleaders. You have to start from their energy and then they will go with you anywhere.
Back to the doctor’s office. There was no music playing so I had to improvise. I held the mudra (hand gesture—no not that one) that we learned in yoga class. Touching 4th finger and crossing the first finger over the second. This helped me to breathe more deeply.
I recalled the scene from Platoon where the soldier was wounded and anxious and his commanding officer said, “TAKE the pain!” And eventually the soldier accepted the pain rather than ignore it and suffer reactively.
So I was ready for the procedure. I thought, “Bring it on, mudras!” I was in no happy mood, but I was prepared. They would be doing an injurious thing to me, so I had to meet them and the situation with the same fierceness.
I realized that was why my other appointments were such a disaster. Nausea, passing out, crying, thrashing around. And that was just the doctor. When I expected to hurt, I got scared, and I could only react, not act. I was cowering to the situation and the task at hand.
But when I matched the situation with the attitude it required (toughness) I was O.K. I didn’t even cry. And neither did the nurse.
What situations are you NOT matching? Are you keeping your usual style and suffering? Show the mudras what you’re made of! Now!
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06.01.10
Posted in Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~In The News, Humor~Inspirational, Humor~Research at 10:54 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Ready to supercharge your year? Yes, I realize we’re halfway into it already but it’s never too late to start. Or too late to laugh. Here’s part of my article for Dr. Nancy Mramor’s Happiness Project, Have the Happiest Year of Your Life. To read the rest of the article, just sign up for Dr. Nancy’s e-zine series. It’s that simple! Each month you’ll get a power-packed issue to keep you on track.
Here we go:
Change is Painful but Humor Can Help!
By Trina Hess, D.Ed. Author, Humorist Speaker
Everyone hates change. It’s painful, unpleasant and not much fun. But if we look at change through the lens of humor, we can transform it into something tremendous and terrific. We can feel more in control over our lives and what happens to us.
Humor, laughter, smiling - they all help improve our health and well-being. They can be equally useful and powerful when we’re going through transition situations like job changes, relationship changes, aging, and any surprise changes in our lives. The great news is that we can harness humor to heal our hurts, and make us a harbinger of a healthier harvest of happiness.
The benefits of humor aren’t just to make us happier, though. There are specific physical responses that happen when we laugh. Our blood pressure lowers. Our breathing improves (once we stop laughing and catch our breath). Our resting heart rate slows, and we get an increase in killer T-cells. There are even chemical reactions that occur in the brain when we see, hear, or even anticipate something funny.
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05.28.10
Posted in Humor~Events, Humor~Research at 1:27 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Want to share your humor expertise with a wide audience of your peers? Here’s your chance! Read this from AATH:
“You’ve spent years honing your skills and now is the time for you to share your experience and knowledge by submitting a proposal for consideration as a break out presentation at AATH’s Annual Conference, April 7-10, 2011 in Orlando, Florida.
“The purpose of our conference is to provide high-quality education and networking opportunities for humor and laughter professionals. Our multiple day, multiple track format offers a self-directed, facilitated learning environment with educational sessions and interactive forums. This is your opportunity to let other “like minded” people know how you do what you do and how it impacts the world.
“The deadline for submission of proposals is: Friday, June 25, 2010.
“Do not miss this opportunity to share your expertise and ideas with our members and guests. We invite you to submit your proposal online by clicking the following link:
http://www.aath.org/call_presentations.htm”
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